LOL

H8: Frappuccinos

This morning I wanted more than just a normal coffee, so I went to Starbucks. I work at Metro Center so there are maybe 20 locations from which to choose. On my way in, I saw a girl about my age cradling a Frappuccino, which was doused in whipped cream and chocolate sauce. Like, really. It’s 9 a.m.

Now, I worked at Starbucks at one point, for maybe about three months. Tubcat worked there for way, way longer than that. There is nothing more pain-in-the-ass for a Starbucks worker than a Frappuccino. You have to leave your regular rhythm at the espresso machine and go to the back counter, mix up everything in a blender, pour it, top it off with a bunch of crap and then put this special lid on it. Die. Especially when customers refer to it as a “Frap.”

Even though thy ARE a delicious treat akin to a milkshake, I NEVER order them. Even if I am tempted, I will only do it if there is zero line and the barista person isn’t busy. So to see anyone get one before noon makes me shake with anger. DID YOU NOT SEE THE LINE OF PEOPLE WAITING FOR THEIR FIRST DROP OF HOT, BREWED SUSTENANCE IN FRONT OF YOU? And you have the nerve to waste the workers’ time with your FRAPPUCCINO CRAVING. DIE IN A FIRE.

More H8 goes to people who order the Frappuccino Light. Ugh.

… and we’re back!

After a bit of a blogging hiatus, I have returned with a new web address.

For my inaugural entry, I submit to you a question:

Here are some silver lame American Apparel shorts that Clark wore during a performance for Brett and Amy’s wedding celebration at the Black Cat:

These shorts, though they made their debut (pants, too) in the store like, two years ago, still continue to baffle me. He wore them, but not after puffy-painting “Brett <3 Amy” (with the heart positioned on his balloon knot) on them. Does anyone ACTUALLY wear these shorts? American Apparel wouldn’t manufacture an item for this long without SOME sales for non-joke purposes, right?

Oh, they’re girl shorts. But still. Does ANYONE wear these for realsies?

UPDATE: Radar has informed me that “everyone at coachella had those shorts on and the weird lame bikini tops too.”

can you pick your top 5 favorite beatles songs?

I can, and so can Jessie.

Jessie:
Eleanor Rigby
Happiness Is a Warm Gun
Julia
Got to Get You into My Life
A Day in the Life

Mine:
This Boy

I’ve Got a Feeling

Lovely Rita

Not a Second Time

Baby You’re a Rich Man

Tags: the beatles | top five

eats pls

If you haven’t read my delicious Gridskipper posts yet, DO IT NOW.

Two days ago I went to Heritage India in Dupont for happy hour, and it was an insane deal. Erie recommended because she had eaten the tapas-style food (all of which are half price til 7:30) and loved it. They only had Budweiser and Bud Light for beers, but I started out with a post-work brew before we ordered food. A huge spread of entrees hit the table and our troupe of seven or so girls took over. Everyone began drinking with half-price girly cocktails, which were kind of gross. But then! $4.50 glasses of semi-bad champagne! The night was made. I mean, except for the fact that Jessie ate something with peanuts and barfed in the toilet and I knocked over a champagne glass (and squinted. and the waiter yelled, KEEP THEM CLOSED! as a joke. and it was pretty adorbs.).

Another delicious deal I have been partaking in is the $1.50 taco special and $2 off foreign brews happy hour at Asylum. Soft, hard, meat, veggie? I go for the soft veggie usually. And a Stella, which somehow always happens to be flat.

I’m also noticing that I’ve gained a teensy bit of weight, which I think can be attributed to the fact that I eat shwarma from the 24/7 downstairs almost every day for lunch (it is delish) and, when I’m working at the club, eat free gross overcooked bar pizza instead of a real meal. And tater tots from Duffy’s. Did I mention how much I love Duffy’s?

Tags: gridskipper | washington dc | food

best of

I’m sitting in the box during Blowoff! and my love of gays is reaffirmed. Now that my traffic has slowed, however, it’s time to make my best albums of 2K7 list, in no particular order:
1. Statehood - Lies and Rhetoric
2. MIKA - Life in Cartoon Motion
3. Rufus Wainwright - Release the Stars
4. Interpol - Our Love to Admire
5. Jens Lekman - Night Falls over Kortedala
6. Iron and Wine - The Shepherd’s Dog
7. Klaxons - Myths of the Near Future
8. Arcade Fire - Neon Bible
9. Elliott Smith - New Moon
10. Patrick Wolf - The Magic Position

This list is subject to change, as I still have all of December to mull over it.

OK, now more gays are coming and the fact that I love them needs to be reiterated. HOWEVER, all of the fag hags who come to Blowoff! — I do not love you. You are wearing gold lame tank tops and huge belt buckles that come right below your boobs. All of you are slightly hid and it makes me depressed. Know your place — and it is NOT at Blowoff. I don’t come here when I’m not working, and I’m the biggest fag hag of our time. Legendary.

Tags: blowoff | 930 club | best albums of 2007

oh you’re so dreamy, jens.

Audio / visual please!

Photo: http://flickr.com/photos/girdle/1758192397/

I kept with the trend of yelling at rock stars to “put it in me, please.” During “You Are the Light (By Which I Travel into This and That),” Jessica, Erin, Caitie and I had, like, the perfect end-of-a-movie moment, arms flailing, feet stomping, dancing, chanting, screaming the lyrics. It was so fucking fantastic.
Here’s the video of the song we freaked out to:

There’s original video from last night’s show here. It makes me wet my pants with joy. And pee.

Tags: jens lekman

yes please

Please go home on Thanksgiving Day so that you can come to the show at the Black Cat the Wednesday before it. Thx.

Tags: statehood

miss adams morgan, et al.

Last Saturday I went with Alyson and Dave and a few others to the Miss Adams Morgan pageant at the Washington Hilton. Kenny, love of my life, was featured in some of the performances, and his husband Scott, Miss Adams Morgan ‘99, looked divine. The theme was TV Land, so there were Lucys and Brady Bunch characters and Mary Tyler Moores and Morticia Adamses EVERYWHERE. I swooned over some of the best legs I’ve ever seen. I also got jealous. Here is some photo documentation:

Someone asked me, “You’re a lady, right?” Yes, yes I am, sadly. Also, a gay wearing fake boobies let me and Al touch them and then proceeded to touch ours and spank us with a whip.

Here are Alyson, Kenny and “Consuela.” Who is the hottest? Unsure.

I am a few glasses of wine in at this point.

Here we are giving people the right idea.

Dave and I are obvs in love and getting married.

Mmm. Yes please. Never been happier.

In other news, Statehood’s album is going to come out, er, drop, at the end of October and I am very, very excited. Please go to their MySpace page, friend them and listen to all of the songs, specifically “Every Single Question.” Here are some YouTube videos to whet your punk-poppy-rock-n-roll delicious appetite.

Tags: miss adams morgan | drag queens | statehood

delicious treats

Let me introduce you to my new boyfriend, HAVARTI CHEESE. He is made from Danish cow’s milk. His texture is flexible and smooth. The knife goes right through him, like butter. He is a delicious source of calcium. We are in love, but sometimes I think we got serious too quickly. Especially the next morning. Also, he is a slut and sometimes cheats on me with others.